UNLOCKING HAPPINESS THROUGH YOUR INNER-CHILD

 

 

 

Hello everyone and welcome back, I’m Alicia and today’s conversation won’t be very lengthy; however, it will tantalize you into wanting to utilize one of the most powerful Key that you alone possess but you may be unaware of. 
It has been written somewhere – “…that the people perish, for lack of knowledge”.

This Powerful key is within you, even if you might not realize it yet.

This key is all about you understanding and caring for your inner child.

Imagine your inner child, as the part of you that holds onto the happy moments or the hurtful feelings and memories and experiences, from when you were younger.

Your inner child is like a little companion that stays with you throughout your life - influencing how you feel and respond to things you experience on a day-to-day basis.

The things that have happened to you as a child - both the good and the bad – has assisted in shaping the adult you’ve become.
And sometimes, unfortunately some of these early unpleasant experiences, can leave behind feelings or wounds that affect you unto this day…

And yet, you are unable to make the connection, to the root causes or origins of a behavior that is manifesting in your present experience – cause sometimes, the wound of a particular infliction, can be covered up by so many other complex emotional variables, that it can go for years or even a lifetime without discerning.

 

Therefore, it is critical for us to become aware of and understand our inner child – meaning - acknowledging, nurturing and healing these parts of yourself.

The primary purpose for engaging in your inner-child work, is to unlock the unresolved childhood experiences and the lingering effects of childhood dysfunctions: which is the sum of all mental and emotional memories, stored in our sub-conscious - from conception to about pre-puberty (to about age 12);

What we want to do, is not to dig up painful experience, to get a double whammy of it, but to realize that by Unlocking, these trapped or suppressed memories in the sub – conscious, is to reach back and give the attention and care and support: physically, emotionally, creatively and spiritually, that your inner child might have been missing throughout your younger years.

See, your childhood memories are often thought of as, the ones in, "exile", because they tend to be excluded from your waking thought - in order to avoid/defend/protect against the pain, carried in those memories – And very often, sadly – the inner version of you is childlike, simple, scared - and we may not have even found the language in which to articulate them yet…all you basically know, is that something is there…something hurts…or something is off.  Like young children, the anger that is manifesting, is really not anger, but rather, a way of them communicating something deeper, that they cannot explain…and this is why you will see a little later in the conversation, why Art Therapy, is a great tool for assisting you to communicate in a safe and non-verbal way.

Carl Jung, once said, that “In every adult, there lurks a child - an eternal child,
something that Is always becoming,
Is never completed,
And calls for unceasing care, attention, and education.” To bring a sense of peace and wholeness to your life, continuously.

This sentiment touches on a deep truth: in our quest for wholeness and well-being, most of us are either unaware of or have no idea, on how to unlock and tap into our sub-conscious memories, in order to know and understanding our Inner Child.

This concept of the inner child is of-course a metaphorical representation of the younger version of ourselves – it is that childlike essence that remains within us throughout our lives.

The inner child embodies our emotions, our needs, our desires, and all of the experiences we had during our developing years.

It’s not just a throwback nostalgic idea but a powerful psychological force that influences our subconscious beliefs, behaviors, and emotional responses as adults. (The subconscious is often called the unconscious or the inner-self – it is the part of the mind of which one is not fully aware but which influences one's actions and feelings).

 

(One method of reparenting the inner child in therapy was originated by art therapist Lucia Capacchione in 1976 and documented in her book Recovery of Your Inner Child (1991). Using art therapy and journaling techniques, her method includes a "nurturing parent" and "protective parent" within "inner family work" to care for a person's physical, emotional, creative and spiritual needs (her definition of the inner child). It also posits a "critical parent within" and provides tools for managing it. Charles L. Whitfield dubbed the inner child the "child within" in his book Healing the Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families (1987). Penny Park's book Rescuing the Inner Child (1990) provided a program for contacting and recovering the inner child.

In his television shows, and in books such as Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child (1990), John Bradshaw, a U.S. educator, pop psychology and self-help movement leader, used "inner child" to point to unresolved childhood experiences and the lingering dysfunctional effects of childhood dysfunction: the sum of mental-emotional memories stored in the sub-conscious from conception thru pre-puberty.

 Within the framework of psychosynthesis, the inner child is often characterized as a subpersonality

Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS therapy) posits that there is not just one inner child sub-personality, but many. IFS therapy calls wounded inner child sub-personalities "exiles" because they tend to be excluded from waking thought in order to avoid/defend against the pain carried in those memories. IFS therapy has a method that aims to gain safe access to a person's exiles, witnessing the stories of their origins in childhood, and healing them.

IFS therapy has a method that aims to gain safe access to a person's exiles, witnessing the stories of their origins in childhood, and healing them). Wikipedia References.

 

See, it’s my desire, that by me encouraging you, through this conversation, to unlock and open up, this massive reservoir of the sub-conscious mind (is deeper than just mental recollection but is feelings and an intelligence that lurks in every cell of the physical body) and connecting with your inner child – that a significance and profound healing and nurturing can happen, in your life. 

When need to be able to recognize and accept, that our childhood experiences, whether joyful or painful, played a pivotal role in shaping who we are today;
Basically, our inner child carries the imprints of our experiences - both the wondrous moments of innocence and the unresolved wounds of unmet needs or traumas.
This inner child awareness is so powerful, as it holds the key to our joy, playfulness, and our emotional healing. By us nurturing and understanding this part of ourselves (the inner child) we can actually embrace the wisdom and secrets, that it offers, to unlock the doors, to our joy and unleash happiness, in every area of life - we can rediscover the bliss that is already inside of us.

Remember as children, we were so curious, playful, and imaginative - but we were also vulnerable, dependent, and sometimes hurt by circumstances beyond our control.

And as we grew into adulthood, many of us disconnect from this part of ourselves - suppressing the childlike aspects of vulnerability, innocence, spontaneity, and playfulness – of-course in favor of being more practical, realistic, mature – as a means to conform to societal norms….it would appear that the very structures of assimilation, that we build as a society, to protect and normalize us - has also become the prison that constrains us.
The cry of the Child within, is wanting to break free from limiting beliefs and the emotional patterns, that have kept us stuck, in cycles of stress, anxiety, discontent, lost and confused…alienated, from both the world and even ourselves.

So, then the question is…Are We Truly Free…Are We Free To Be Who We Truly Are, within the constraints of the social constructs of “civilization” …?

I digress…

But we now realize, that this type of detachment/disconnection from our child-like nature, while a common part of growing up/a rite of passage, has created an emotional void within us – that can very often make us overly critical of ourselves, and suppress our creative impulses, and or struggle with multiple internal unresolved emotions from the past – because we lack the outlet or a trusted space, to express who we truly are or how we feel.

Reconnecting with the inner child allows us to revisit these taboo aspects of ourselves - offering us an opportunity for healing and self-discovery - that can lead to a more fulfilling and joyful life.

Healing and Nurturing the Inner Child is a Process – it doesn’t happen overnight…however it begins with healing the emotional wounds that we carry from childhood, that may manifest as negative beliefs, unresolved traumas, or deep-seated fears that continue to influence our thoughts and behaviors as adults.

Inner child work - whether through therapy, working with a life-coach, journaling, meditation, or visualization exercises - invites us to acknowledge and accept these wounds – And then move into, providing the compassion and care to our younger selves, that we may have wanted back then.

One of the most important aspects of this healing process is cultivating self-compassion.
Self-compassion in a nutshell, involves treating ourselves with the same kindness, the same understanding, and patience, that we would offer to a close friend or a child or even sometimes a stranger or someone we look up to.

When we reconnect with our inner child, we give ourselves permission to embrace our vulnerability, our imperfections, and the emotional needs that may have been difficult to articulate, or was dismissed, silenced or ignored, in the past.

By nurturing the inner child, we create that safe space for emotional healing – that allow us to forgive, to purge and release old patterns of self-criticism, guilt, and shame – that is directly linked to our childhood.
Deep within us, there lies the sleeping giant of either an overly "nurturing parent", or a overly "protective parent", or an overly "critical parent” or a “distant parent” that left the stain of a lingering rejection.

Now, in addition, the healing process would also provide you with the tools for managing, the idiosyncrasies and/dispositions, that ever so often, trips you up.

Some of these tools may involve engaging in activities that bring joy, creativity, and playfulness into our lives, whether through art, music, dance, or simply allowing ourselves to be spontaneous and carefree.
As children, we naturally gravitated toward play, curiosity, and imagination. These activities were not only sources of fun but also ways of exploring the world around us and our expressing of ourselves in it.

Sadly, as adults, we often lose touch with this part of ourselves and we are hereby now, challenged to reconnect with our inner child and fling open the door to pure joy, that we once experienced as children.
This is a state of joy, that is not based on external circumstances, but rather it’s an inherent, natural aspect of who we are.

If we can embrace the innocence, curiosity, and playfulness of the inner child, we can find happiness in the small, everyday moments of life.
Whether it’s marveling at a sunset, laughing at a playful joke, or simply being present in the moment – tapping into the inner child, opens our heart and helps us to see the world with fresh eyes.

This work, holds the key to true liberation, where Happiness, when cultivated from within, becomes not just a fleeting emotion but a lasting state of being

Rather than relying on external factors such as achievements, possessions, or the approval of others, this lasting form of happiness arises from a deep sense of self-acceptance, self-love, and inner peace.
It is rooted in the understanding that our worth is inborn and not dependent on outside validation.
And so, by embracing all aspects of ourselves—the light and the shadow, the child and the adult, the joy and the pain, our strengths and our imperfections - we can integrate the inner child into our adult lives — and we can create a foundation of self-compassion that allows us to navigate life’s challenges with greater resilience and emotional stability – that fosters a calm, contented mind, free from the constant pursuit of fleeting pleasures or the avoidance of discomfort.

Here are some call-to-action points to encourage you to take actionable steps towards connecting with your inner child: We all know that nothing happens until we Take Action and Do something:

We can:

1. Start a Daily Journal: Dedicate a few minutes each day to journal about your childhood memories, dreams, and desires. Reflect on what your inner child might be trying to tell you and how you can incorporate those insights into your daily life.

 

2. Engage in Playful Activities: Reconnect with activities you loved as a child, whether it's drawing, playing games, dancing, or spending time in nature. Allow yourself to experience joy and spontaneity without judgment.

 

3. Practice Self-Compassion: Develop a habit of speaking to yourself with kindness and understanding. When facing challenges or self-criticism, imagine how you would comfort a child and offer yourself the same compassion.

 

4. Create a Safe Space for Reflection: Set aside time each week to meditate or reflect on your emotional needs. Use visualization techniques to meet and comfort your inner child, fostering a sense of security and peace.

 

5. Seek Therapy, Counseling or a Life-couch: Consider working with someone who specializes in inner child work. Professional guidance can help you explore and heal past wounds, and develop a healthier relationship with your inner child.

 

6. Establish a Self-Care Routine: Incorporate self-care practices that nurture your well-being and bring you joy. Whether it’s through physical activities, creative pursuits, or relaxation techniques, ensure your routine includes elements that honor your inner child's needs.

 

7. Connect with Others: Share your journey with friends or join a support group focused on personal growth. Engaging with others who are also exploring their inner child can provide encouragement, inspiration, and a sense of community.

 

8. Celebrate Small Wins: Recognize and celebrate moments when you connect with your inner child. Whether it’s a breakthrough in understanding or a joyful experience, acknowledging these moments reinforces the positive impact of your efforts.

 

9. Create a Vision Board: Make a vision board that represents your dreams and aspirations as if you were a child again. Use it as a visual reminder to stay connected with your inner desires and goals.

 

10. Write a Letter to Your Inner Child: Write a heartfelt letter to your inner child, expressing love, understanding, and support. Revisit this letter regularly and update it as you continue to nurture your connection.

And so forth…

So now:  My Final Thoughts:

I do understand that in this modern world – we are inundated by external pressures and distractions, that very often distance us from our true selves.
However, this journey is a very private and sobering one – it is not merely about revisiting childhood memories, but about reclaiming the purity of joy, wonder, and creativity that once defined our earliest years.

Embracing our inner child, unlocks the dormant potential for emotional healing and self-discovery, that allows us to move beyond the wounds of the past, where so many of us are stuck in cycles of blaming or victimhood.

This reconnection with our inner essence, invites us to engage with life more authentically, breaking free from the conditioned patterns and societal expectations, that stifle our true nature.
Let us dismantle the barriers that have kept us, from fully experiencing the richness of life and the peace that comes with unconditional self-acceptance.

By allowing ourselves to play, to dream, and to feel with the openness of a child, we tap into a wellspring of inner resources that enrich our adult lives with depth and meaning.

This is where lasting happiness is cultivated – and joy is not an occasional visitor, but a steady companion.

In this way, the journey is not about seeking perfection or avoiding pain, but about embracing the full spectrum of our humanity, and doing so with a heart that is open, curious, and at peace with itself.

Through this inner work, we not only activate that powerful key to rediscover joy, But we also create a life rooted in enduring happiness - one where the child within and the adult we’ve become, coexist in harmony - guiding us towards reclaiming the magic of life – and rediscovering the beauty of living with a joyful spirit - to experience a deeper, more fulfilling sense of well-being.

There’s this statement from the Bible that I would love to hear your comments on: “for the kingdom of Heaven belongs to the little children…for it is within you…”.

Thank you so much for your attention – I really appreciate you taking the time to visit the website.
I do hope you found this content valuable.
 

And until next time…………….BE WELL….

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YouTube link of video:  https://youtu.be/VX_W489xK7s?si=Q53YaN0cGqhb3c2U

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Here’s a brief summary of some relevant books and other resources:

 

1. Recovery of Your Inner Child by Lucia Capacchione.

This book explores the concept of the "inner child," a part of ourselves that holds our true emotions, creativity, and joy. Capacchione guides readers through a series of expressive arts therapies—like drawing, journaling, and role-playing—to reconnect with this inner child. The goal is to heal past wounds and rediscover the sense of wonder and authenticity that may have been lost through life's challenges. The book emphasizes self-care and creative expression as vital tools for healing.

 

2. Healing the Child Within by Charles L. Whitfield.

Whitfield's book delves into the idea that many of the emotional and psychological issues people face as adults stem from unmet needs or trauma experienced in childhood. The "inner child" is a metaphor for these unresolved feelings. The book offers strategies to recognize and heal these wounds, emphasizing the importance of self-love, acceptance, and forgiveness. Whitfield provides insights into how these childhood experiences influence adult behavior and relationships, and he offers practical steps for reclaiming emotional health.

 

3. Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child (1990) by John Bradshaw.

Bradshaw’s work is one of the foundational texts in the study of the inner child. In "Homecoming," he discusses how unresolved childhood issues can affect adult life, leading to patterns of dysfunction in relationships, self-esteem, and overall well-being. The book provides a structured program to help readers reconnect with their inner child, heal past traumas, and develop healthier relationships with themselves and others. Bradshaw combines psychological insights with practical exercises to guide readers on their journey of healing.

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Additional Book Recommendations on the Inner Child:
These books provide a comprehensive look at the concept of the inner child and offer various approaches for healing and personal growth.

 

1. The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller.

This classic book examines how childhood experiences, particularly the pressure to meet parental expectations, can lead to the repression of true emotions and the development of a false self. Miller discusses the importance of reconnecting with one's true feelings and the inner child to heal from these early wounds.

 

2. The Emotionally Absent Mother: A Guide to Self-Healing and Getting the Love You Missed by Jasmin Lee Cori.

This book focuses on the impact of emotional neglect in childhood and how it can lead to a disconnected inner child. Cori offers strategies for healing and reparenting oneself to fill the emotional gaps left by an absent or emotionally unavailable mother.

 

3. The Inner Child Workbook: What to Do with Your Past When It Just Won’t Go Away by Cathryn L. Taylor.

This practical workbook provides exercises and techniques for identifying and healing wounds from childhood. Taylor offers a step-by-step approach to reconnecting with the inner child and addressing unresolved issues that may be affecting present-day life.

 

4. Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter A. Levine.

Although not solely focused on the inner child, this book explores how trauma, often originating in childhood, can be stored in the body. Levine's approach to healing involves understanding and releasing this trauma, which can also help in reconnecting with and healing the inner child.

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